Mike, you're known the world round as a schizophrenic, you know that yourself, it's not a secret. And paranoid schizophrenics hallucinate in exactly the manner you report. It's all
hallucinations. The only hope to lessen them is medical treatment, so stick with that.
It's awful cos you're a very smart guy. So any harrassment you imagine will be more credible sounding than a less-intelligent paranoid schizophrenic. Their theories might be easily
disprovable, but because you're smart, your brain works it out in advance, so that anything anyone said to you that dismisses your "harrassment", which is completely hallucinated,
you can argue back with some sophisticated retort. It's basically impossible to argue you round to accepting it's all schizophrenic hallucinations. But here I am trying to do it.
Just do your best, mate, it's awful that a brain can go so wrong in such a cruel way, I realise that, to you, this is as real as anything else. It's as if you really are being
stalked by MI5. But... you're not. Believe a stranger with no agenda and nothing to gain. MI5 don't even do stuff like that. "MI5's" behaviour in your posts is exactly consistent
with paranoid schizophrenic hallucinations. I've had a friend have a psychotic break, a while ago, and he had auditory hallucinations, and it was awful. I took him in to live with
me for a couple of weeks while he got better and the antipsychotics kicked in. In his case it was just smoking too much weed that unbalanced his brain.
He would hear things, or have strange ideas, and ask me if they were real, and I'd just flat-out tell him the truth. It's good he trusted me, in fact it was vital. He's OK now and
been warned to leave cannabis alone completely, unless he wants to go back like that. It was horrible, but yours seems so much worse, and permanent. I doubt you'll believe me, but
even if you do for 5 minutes I'd have achieved something. You're just ill, mate. It's terrible how brains can go wrong, but that's all it is, your brain has gone a bit strange and
these are the results. I hope you can just live as calmly as possible and not set yourself off. Just stay calm and do something relaxing and soothing. And take your meds, and
discuss how well they're working with the psychiatrist I hope you are seeing.
if love is a drug, then, ideally, it's a healing, healthful drug... it's
kind of like prozac is supposed to work (without the sexual side
effects and long-term damage to the brain and psyche)